Tuesday, April 07, 2009

what it feels like for a girl

Last night I went to see my old roommate Lola. Her new roommate, Ann, was moving in and was super friendly so we started chatting. It turns out that this girl works for a professional matchmaking service... not online but one similar to the show "Millionaire Matchmaker". And, the same way that one might ask a doctor at a cocktail party about the pain in their elbow, I started to share my recent guy issues to get her advice (I mean she's surrounded by relationships coming together and falling apart all the time- she must know a thing or two!). The advice was pretty good... but mostly common sense.

Then Lola, inspired, says to Ann "hey you could always use Sarah for a set-up! Sarah- how about it? Go see Ann for a match!"

(There was a pregnant pause heavy with anticipation as I was sized up by the professional matchmaker)

Ann, who is quite nice so please don't judge her harshly by my next words, said "um... let me give you the inside scoop on this game... you won't meet the criteria of the guys who are looking to be set up. You're too big."

(This was followed by an awkward pause).

Oh. Ok.

Well then.


How does one move on from such a comment?

She did elaborate (and quickly) that the guys who use this service pay $30,000 for a set-up and are mostly hedge fund millionaire jerks with no real time for a relationship who are looking for a size 2 trophy who won't voice an opinion or present a challenge.

And I'm happy to say that's not me.

I tend to be attracted to starving artist jerks with no real desire for a relationship who will suck me dry with emotional games.

I wonder if they have a service for that- and where can I sign up??!

No comments: