To go 3000km

It's roughly 3000km from Calgary to NYC. Today that journey took 12 hours door to door.

Yes I realize that in 1856 that journey would've taken the better part of a decade and I shouldn't be so ungrateful... so... I'm not.

It was a day spent in airports. It could've been worse. It's being on an airplane for far too long but I did get the emergency aisle to myself which was great. They did have video- which I didn't have to pay for (ahem- Continental!) - and really... what was I going to do today anyhow??

I also met some lovely Swedish travelers on my journey home- and was able to see them safely on the 3 train to their hostel. I gave them some recos on where to eat and where to shop- so hopefully they have a good taste for the folks in NYC.

Home again. Or is it?

I'm home in Calgary for the week visiting family and friends.

I grew up here and called Calgary 'home' for 27 years.

They say you can't go home again, and while this is probably mostly true, I wouldn't necessarily say that about... okay I really would. I can't go home again- I don't think I'll ever move back to Calgary. While I have many fond memories of the city every trip back affirms my decision to leave.

I could end up eating my words. I could end up raising 9 little Kostecki-x's in the suburbs of Tuscany in a proper split level bungalow where the only ladders to beds belong to my 6 year old twins in their bunk beds. And if that happens please please feel free to say "I told you so" but let's not wager huge sums just now.

I mentioned in a post awhile back that my time in NY was limited, so where will my next 'home' be?! And how many homes can I have?! (Right now I have 3- TO, YYC & NYC) Where and when will I eventually put down roots and start to shape my identity... other than that of a wandering gypsy?! Or is that my fate? And how does one even define home anyhow?! By the people? Time? My Mom has lived in Calgary for 30+ years but still calls the Maritimes 'home'.

I suppose it's your choice. Where you choose to be at any given moment, and how you choose to define it. Right now I call NY my home because of the life I have carved out for myself there: with my friends, my job, my apartment and my experiences.

And as for my next place of residence (Signapore? Rome? Saskatoon?) we'll see how and when it becomes home when we get there.

A Random Thought

A friend and I were chatting today and we decided that it's our personal and collective insecurities that are a major driver to so many problems today.

And this is a range of problems in personal relationships all the way to world issues (it's a stretch but work with me here).

Why are we all so insecure??

a Day at the Office

Dude- this is exactly what it's like at my office.

22 minutes

I love to spend Saturday mornings sitting in bed watching the shows I didn't watch from the past week. With my laptop and hulu (my version of the TV and PVR) it's a grownups version of Saturday morning cartoons. The past few weeks I've found myself hooked on a few sitcoms- unusual given the decline of the genre in the past few years.

Yes they were big in the "Friends" and "Seinfeld" era- until getting pushed out by the serial dramas like "Lost" or "24" and of course, Reality TV. But it seems that, for whatever reason ('these tough economic times when we just want to laugh', the time pressure of not being able to appointment view??), sitcoms are experiencing a resurgence.

With clever shows featuring smart writing and good acting, there are actually a lot of shows I'd recommend spending 22 minutes on.

Some favourites: "Cougartown" (I think I relate a little too much to this one), "How I Met Your Mother", "Modern Family", "Community" and "The Office".

And though it's not technically a 22 minutes sitcom I HAVE to mention "Glee"- with Jane Lynch. She is brilliant and the show is fun. If there is only one thing you watch this year- it should be Glee.

Raining? Really? Feels like sunshine to me.

I had such a good sleep last night so woke up feeling rested and refreshed- those are the best mornings.
Big smile on my face as I make my way to work.
Colleague tells me I've got a polished NYC look going on today- even though I feel like I just threw on "whatever".
Got a really great email from my stepmom.
Had some productive 'let's solve some problem's' meetings all morning. I feel like I'm on fire.
Saw some old clients -big hugs and smiles.
I sat at my desk and wished I had some pad thai for lunch. I went down to the cafeteria and in our international section: Pad Thai. I willed it into being.
Come upstairs to another colleague throwing love at my $30 Gap shoes.
It's grim and rainy outside and I'm having the sunniest day.

Impermanence

Frequently I get asked the question "how do you like NY?" People ask the question heavy with anticipation, as though expecting an answer filled with great insight. Usually the answer is:

"It's hard"
"It's busy"
"It's fun"
"It's lonely"
"It's fascinating"
"It's expensive"
"It's the best city in the world"

All of these things are true.

But one of the things I feel about this place... is that it is not permanent. I've been here a year and I feel as though my time has an expiry date.

There is a song by Baz Lurhman which was a commencement address put to music. It says "Everyone should live in NY once but leave before it makes you hard. Everyone should live in LA once but leave before it makes you soft."

I like NY a lot. I am having interesting experiences. I'm meeting interesting people. I'm learning, growing and evolving. But I will reach a point when I'm ready to leave. I don't want to become hard.

Settling In

My home is starting to come together. Things are going up on the walls and stuff is getting put away.

Many thanks to my friend J who came over tonight to hang up my bike and a mirror that I'd literally bought 2 years ago- and which had yet to make its way onto any of my walls for fear I'd hang it crooked, or I'd hang it and rip the dry wall. And while yes I hate to be a stereotypical 'girl'... (though I do feel like I'm fairly self sufficient- with a kick ass toolbox filled with kick ass tools...) I admit that there are just some things I can't do as well as someone with more experience. And usually that someone is a guy (who just seems to have this built in knowledge about how to fix/build/do stuff. It's intuitive and he makes it look easy.)
And it's all good for David to give me advice over the phone but it's better to have someone there to hold the mirror in place while I check the level.

As a compromise to prove out my self sufficiency I promised myself I'd put up the kitchen shelves myself... which I'm going to tackle tomorrow.

Pictures up by the end of the week.

As of 4:25pm

Today has been a really great day.

This feels like a tweet or status update... but it's going up as a blog post because I want it to be a more permanent thought for me to reflect on when I have a not so great day.

October 2, 2009: Great day.

Happy Anniversary to Me

In addition to being EC and JH's birthdays, it was also 1 year ago today that I moved to NYC. I remember it was the day before the DOW dropped a record 700 points. I had two days off between jobs. A friend was in town from Toronto and I was staying in the nicest apartment I would likely ever have in NYC (thanks to Corporate Housing).

The world was my oyster and the air was ripe with the scent of possibility.

And now? A year later? What's my take?

While it wasn't as smooth as an inner city shift, it was fairly easy all things considered. Yes a few too many peanut M&Ms were consumed. Some very late nights at the office. Some bad choices made, and some good ones. But overall pretty awesome.

What have I learned? How have I grown? What has a year living in one of the greatest cities in the world wrought?

Sounds like a top ten er... fifteen list:

1. "Free pour" isn't as great of a thing as one might think
2. Yankees vs Red Sox games, the US Open, and Broadway shows anytime you want
3. Rooftop patios can be trouble- and brownies aren't always the best party treat
4. A lot of Canadian stereotypes are true.
5. A lot of American stereotypes are true.
6. People grow up and people change but some who were your friend when you were 12 can prove to be the best friends you could ever hope to have.
7. Speaking of friends, you will have a lot more of them visit when you live in NYC
8. A little person who has no concept of who you are can bring you the greatest joy simply by being (O)
9. You can go to Rome just for the weekend.
10. People who work in NY are not automatically smarter/better than you are.
11. Weddings and love come in all shapes and sizes.
12. Things are not always what they seem. In fact they are rarely what they seem.
13. Yes the pace and price of NY is exactly how it is portrayed on TV and in the movies.
14. Though I had thought my friend card was full it turns out there is always room for more.
15. Life with an iphone is just better.

The Golden Palace

I moved this weekend. Easiest move in history. I moved across the hall- which meant I didn't need to pack anything as I just carried it 15 steps to my new place.
(And yet I'm still faced with an apartment full of stuff that needs to be unpacked, sorted and put away- funny that.)

I also purchased a couch/chair set from a neighbour- which was advertised as 'olive green'. It's not olive. Nor is it green. It's kind of ... gold. And I like gold- a lot of stuff I already own has burnt gold accents.


I'm just not sure how I feel about the colour in such massive quantities. It's not horrible and I used to like it a lot, but now??? In my teeny tiny apartment, with my gold and red accents, and hardwood floors, and cream/yellow walls, it's so much gold I feel like I'm living in a Sultan's Tent from 1001 Arabian Nights.

It might be a tad too much.

Love Happens: a movie review

Where to start?? Well, it's quite possibly the worst movie I've ever seen.* Ever. I would have walked out except for the company I was with.

While watching the movie I actually got a bit upset- for a couple of reasons:
- I would never get those two hours back
- The "stars" probably made more money in this one horrible film than I'll make in a lifetime
- This movie employed such a large team of should be slinging burgers talentless hacks- from props and styling to script and direction.

So rather than focus on the movie I tried to distract myself by making lists of things I'd rather be doing...
- Mopping the floor of my new apartment
- Doing laundry in a bathroom sink??
- Re-reading "Breaking Dawn" while in Vancouver (see previous post about reading "Breaking Dawn" while in Vancouver - 08.08).

Then I tried to predict what would happen: Here's where the 'kooky' friend makes some inappropriate joke to the new guy in order to break the ice. And this is when dude makes an impassioned speech and cries. And that guy over there is going to start to clap. And then the rest will follow. How about when the Dad comes in and says "We never blamed you son! We never blamed you." (his wife died in a car accident while he was driving- that's the big reveal at the end. There- I've just ruined the movie for you). Rounding up with when he starts to conquer his fears and do all of the things he couldn't do at the beginning of the film only 7 short hours earlier.

And finally this led to me creating more lists about what could possibly be more painful than watching this movie:
- Having my arm bent around my back like my brothers used to do when I was a kid.
- Eating super hot jalapenos dipped in tomato sauce and stuffed with pineapple while having a mouth full of canker sores
- Perhaps filing your incisors down to sharp little points with a nail file, and then using those points to puncture multiple holes in your own arm, and then taking that arm and dipping it into a fish tank filled with starving piranhas. I suppose that would be more painful.

And that's where I finish. I don't recommend the movie. I really don't.

(*Brazil is still the worst)

A little chuckle

If you know me- this might make you laugh. It made me laugh.


Thanks chs!

Sept 22

It's a grey day today.
With clouds outside.
And clouds inside.

If You Don't Know Cute by Now

Someone today had the audacity to tell me that their niece was cuter than mine. Yes all babies/children are cute and they shouldn't be compared etc...

And yet.

I present to you exhibit A:


My brother and his family were camping in the great white north. O was too big to be washed in the kitchen sink but too small for the tub...so Coleman came to the rescue.

Cute right? Cutest even???

A Cover of "The Climb"

Safe to say that I'm not much of a Miley Cyrus fan... (though I admire the marketing that made her into a superstar).

Here is a clip of Kelly Clarkson with Jill & Kate doing a MC cover of "The Climb" (taken from Just Jared)- it's about :45 in. It's better than the original



It's like when Mandy Moore did the cover of "Umbrella" - awesome. Wish they would release those versions... (not that Rihanna is untalented- I think she's great).

Intensity: "a high degree of emotional excitement"

The one thing I love about children is their intensity.
Everything is so new and different that they marvel at it all.
Whether it's weather or an emotion or sound - there's nothing too small
for their attention.

Either it's the most fabulous thing or it's the most awful thing.
They cry at the drop of a hat.
Then you show them something shiny and mouths drop open and they stare in wonderment... quite literally forgetting what brought them to tears only moments before.

We (me) lose this as adults, or we strive to fight against it.
We're all about balance.
We want things kept on an even keel.
Our goal is a stressfree life and we're looking for that "happy medium"...

So what happens when you do find something that causes you to react with the intensity of a child?
Something that rocks you to your core and makes you wild?
Do you shy away from it? Or do you dive right in?

I would like to imagine I would dive, without thought to cause or consequence.
And ride the blistering high that fills you from your eyes to your toes,
and then deal with the crushing lows (you can't have one without the other- balance still comes into play).

But I wouldn't.
If faced with that choice I would still be deliberate and thoughtful. I would over-think.
and weigh the pros and cons until it became a safe balanced environment with any intensity bled away.
There are no shiny lights for me. But there is also no cause for tears or dismay.

Sometimes I wish I could recapture what children have...
embrace life with the fervor and enchantment...
And instead of a nice friendly coral, feel like hot deep red.

It has to be somewhat worth it- no?

Morimoto cocktail

I was on my way into the gym for a quick work out at 10pm when I got a text from my friend Jeff, "see you at mm at 10:30!" (meaning Morimoto), where he and Lori were headed for a late dinner.

It was Monday night.
At 10pm.
Morimoto is a fabulous (expensive) Japanese restaurant on the LWS.
I'm in the gym, at least 30 minutes away.

So I do a quick u-turn and head home to change... hop on the subway and make my way down.

I didn't eat but I did have a drink.

It was called the High Line- a signature cocktail. Lori was drinking it. I would like to say it looked like an innocent little drink- innocuous by all standards, without a hint as to what it would offer its' recipient. But it didn't look like that. It looked interesting and spicy and cleanly colourful.

It was a delightful mix of cool and refreshing with a kick from a citrus plant and an undercurrent of Japanese spice. It made me feel like I was drinking something so delicious that it was the best thing I'd ever had in my life, but then it would stop and say "oh no... I'm actually better than that. I'm actually more than you realized. I have this taste, and then this flavour as well. I just keep on surprising you and giving you more drink love."
I adored it.*

You might think it's a bit ridiculous that I'm writing an entire post about a drink- and it is. But mostly it's so that I keep up this appearance of the nyc life- where I am going OUT at 11pm on a Monday night- because that's just how I roll. (vs my reality which would lead to posts about how I actually go to bed at 10pm after eating pad Thai from a box and watching reruns of Degrassi on the N Network).

*editors note: yes it's just a drink. it's not that special. you might like it. you might not. I wouldn't go out of your way to get it- but if you're there... try it on. Have a sip. It might suit your taste. Or not.

Summer Adventures pt Gold- Miami, South Beath

Pictures tell 1000 words and I'm feeling lazy today. But here's a haiku to make up for the lack of commentary:

Miami so hot
Mermaids protect the hotel
Living like rockstars

Going Rhoda...Er I mean MTM

When I moved to NY I had to fill out a 12 page application. I had to submit transcripts from University and go through a ton of effort to get my VISA. But worth it.

I've just completed the process to apply for an apartment in NYC. Not an easy feat. I almost thought that I'd need to do a blood test in order to provide a DNA sample, or perhaps the promise of my first born???? It was crazy. You ever want to get in the business of identity theft- then become a broker for an apartment building in NYC and you'll get everything you need.

But also worth it (?)- as I was approved today. I sign the papers tomorrow.

And then I will be officially a grown-up. Living on my own. In a teeny tiny studio in the UWS. : )

What was that show? "she's going to make it afterall"... (or was that MTM?)